You're typing innocently oblivious and then....

BAM!!!  caps lock.

when you LEAST EXPECt it it cOMEs fOR  YOU

caps lock.

IT HITS WHEN  you R Are MOST VULNErable. 

you are on on mY computER

you must be wary.  CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!

MASKS? masks?

you're like A REPtile

"Can I punch her?"

And so begins a legacy of anti-hold and elevator music.

I don't know about you, but I feel brainless and worthless enough when I'm in the elevator without something shiny to occupy me or waiting for someone to FRICKIN ANSWER THE PHONE without music.

Particularly cheesy music.

On speakerphone.

WOndering if you're suppposed to take the little bolts off

MAybe they have empty spaces that need to be filled.  What persons.

We peoples use eraser shavings and they serve the purpose quite nicely.

This conspiracy has been hidden in the shadows for too long.

If you've ever eaten a banana pepper, a cherry pepper, a grape tomatoe, or a cherry tomatoe, then you have been subjected to the influence of freppers.

Like the existance of North Dakota, this anomaly is not necessarily bad.  Freppers are very tasty.  And as I tend to avoid tomatoes, i am not subject to their effects.

A frepper is, obviously, a pepper named after a fruit.

There is a distinct line between fruits and vegetables.  They try to confuse you and tell you a tomatoe's a fruit and that it's spelled tomato, but they lie.  If you think it's a veggie-table, then it is.  And vice versa.

Europe in cheesy noodles

Be aware that these tricky freppers with identity crisises (sp?) trying to be fruits are in fact, freppers, as are tomatoes that attempt this.

Adieu frepper.  be a lert frepper.  the world needs more freppers.  i mean lerts

and freppers cannot take frepper over your frepper brain frepper. dont worry

frepper

I thought television was bad about smileyscoop, but just look at the interweb! I AM NOT INTERESTED IN VIAGARA OR POKER!! FOR OBVIOUS REASONS! tank you.
Here are some quotes against smileyscoop on tagboards-

THEY HAVE PUT SMILEYSCOOP IN OUR JOURNAL AGAINST SMILEYSCOOP!!!!!!!!! - sani

thats kinda sickning i dont wanna go there ewwww - Sheila

...they defy us, and they know we are trying to stop them! lyssa u need to delete this stuff its overflowing - Sani

wow, look at all of the smileyscoop. it all makes sense now...i think - dragonlord

$#@! viagra - dragonlord

... i really need to delete all these tags i dont want, u know the viagra and the poker and the dragonlord ones? lol iz feelin mean right now - sani

who keeps posting thhis sh**? its pissing me off man! - sani

stupid adverstisers sani you can delete tagboard entries its on the service managers somewhereand btw this is a PRIME example of SMILEYCOOP and smileyscoop and jsut plain bull- -Alyssa

And the best quote against smileyscoop of all-

                                           

This is an unusual conspiracy that not everyone is subject to the effects of. 

But it mainly occurs when you're watching TV or reading fanfic and you see something that you recognize (a fun word you just learned like elucidation or facsimile, a title, a name, etc.)

and you may have to spend a moment of precious time pondering how its familiar until you realize....

IT'S YOURS!!

People are stealing ideas that haven't even traveled from your head to paper!!

How do they manage it?

I think you know.

*cough* marshmellows (1) *cough*

but if you don't *sneeze* white sugary puffballs *snort* you'll never *sniff* marshm- find out.

and

---

(1) another conspiracy- they try to tell me that marshmellows is spelled marshmallows.  THey don't realize that the marshmellows have brainwashed them into believing this. (a)
 (a) indexed with the "grey-gray" mini-spiracy and the" potatoe-potato" mini-spiracy. (#)
    (#) the world needs to know.  It's grey and potatoe.  because potatoes must have toes for them      to be tasty and grey just looks better.  (?)
      (?) another sub-spiracy is that you can't have footnotes on footnotes.  We unravel more                conspiracies every day!!
   

WARNING: we are being breached...no not breifed, were with the press dont press!...

sorry

lets try this again

WARNING:WE ARE BEING BREACHED

this morning as i was fixing cereal for my incompetent sister i noticed a dangerous substance in our pantry

thats right, marshmellows

an entire bag just sitting there seemingly innocent on the shelf

along side it were a box of graham crackers and bless their chocolaty souls some hershy bars no doubt trying in vain to subdue the evil sugary puffs.

i did the only thing i could, i told my sister to skip cereal and we destroyed the marshmellows and graham crackers, i took care of the hershy bars...*munch munch*

so here is the message, we are all in danger marshmellows are invaiding our homes, we have reason to believe that they are controlling our parents due to the fact that mine seemed extremely upset at the rightful destruction of the marshmellows.

keep your erasers and pretzels with you at all times. it also wouldnt hurt to have a piece of styrofoam or two.

oh and to aqualyssa...cherry flavored crocodile sneezes...i fear the worst

This basically deals with the Television Conspiracy in general.  For those of you are lucky and have been living under a rock, therefore not being exposed to Television, it's one of the more underhanded and deadly forms of SMILEYSCOOP. (1)

Television assualts you with both audio and visual smileyscoop.  You may be underestimating it's effects on you.  For instance, you may-

- suddenly think that you should be worrying about Alzheimer's Disease
- not think it odd that the exercise equipment on TV enables you to do "twice the work in one effortless motion." 
-  humming Carol of the Bells

I didn't have TV for five years because we don't get local channels and didn't have cable or satellite.  So you know what I did?

I read.

And you know what happens when you read?

You learn stuff.  You become less subject to smileyscoop. You become a better writer.  You learn new words.  You become more creative.

This is an old argument, I know, and you're prolly tired of it. (2)

I have TV now.  I'm trying to watch less of it.

But once you get started, it's hard.  You can't move off the couch.  You keep watching, even reruns, even stupid commercials, even stuff you weren't interested in anyway.

Watch out.

I read a book called Farenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury.  You need to read it, by the way. It's about a fireman that starts fires instead of putting them out.  It's set in the future, where books are illegal and the houses of people that harbor books are burned to the ground.  A quote that stuck with me was spoken by one of these "firemen" , whose explaining to the main character (also a "fireman") how the world got this way.  He is talking about "TV parlor" in which the four walls are all television screens.

"The televisor is 'real'.  It is immediate, it has dimension.  It tells you what to think and then blasts it in.  It must be right.   It seems  so right.   It rushes on you so quickly to  its own conclusions that your mind hasn't time to protest, "What nonsense!"

Then the main character says, "My wife says books aren't 'real.'"

The speaker replies,

"Thank God for that.  You can shut them, say, 'Hold on a moment.  You play God to it... but it [the televisor] is an environment as real as the world.  It becomes and is the truth.  Books can be beaten down with reason." (3)

---

(1) and smileyscoop
(2) well, i didn't ask you.  hahah.
(3) That says it better than I can. (a)
  (a) and such

kay-o, lyssa is in mississippi with our notes so i'll use this time to post some quotes by george carlin who btw, openly spoke out against smileyscoop on madd tv.

yes he did.

no im not lying

seriously

so here they are now.

~when im really bored i sit at home and translate the writing on foreign biscuits

~i put a dollar in one of those change machines...nothing changed

~they keep saying you cant compare apples and oranges, i can...apples are red and slightly sphereical and oranges are orange and very sphereical

~it is bad luck to kill a dog with a cooking spoon

~prefix has no suffix but suffix has a prefix

~its neither here nor there, well folks its gotta be somewhere i sure dont have it

~good news, 10 golfers a year get struck by lightning

~would jack the ripper had had the same effect if his name was wally? oh no wally the ripper is coming! really? hahaha

~you dont meet many japanese guys named biff

so there was a few minutes of sheer stupididty...lanternant

lalalalalalala...wally's coming!

By far, the most diabolical conspiracy yet. (1)  Erasers that you cannot chew. Along with mechanical pencils. I have grown accustomed to consuming plastic rather than wood. (2)  See how we settle for mediocrity? They are big, solid, pink, rectangular. Not tasty. EVIL.  (3)

And why do we put up with this, you ask? Why, if we can revolt? (4)  Why do we accept these un-chewable abominations? Why, when we could demand our multi-colored pencil-topping erasers and be done with these pink squares of frustration? Why don’t we go back to the easily dented wooden pencils, rather than splintering the much more expensive (5)  plastic ones? Wouldn’t peoples everywhere rather have our old pencils and erasers back?

The answer is quite simple really. 69. (5)  If alllll the raindrops… (7)

---

(1) Is it pineapple (a), of course.  We have to leave room for possiblilty (b)
  (a) Peoplese to English translation- maybe
  (b) there could, after all, be more diabolical conspiracies
(2) This is an outrage-ish.
(3) But pure evil does smell pleasant, like the first day of school.
(4) As in eew or rebellion
(5) probably made in Japan (c)
  (c) they are unfairly expensive (#)
  (#) that's a conspiracy in itself
(6) this is all the information we can release at the time (d)
  (d) or at any time (?)
    (?) or my time (!)
       (!) or your time (<
          (< I'm hungry (")
             (") only not really
(7) note the ...'s
  

Maybe it should be called the Bermuda Triangle Conspiracy. That’s what they want you to think it is. They (the persons) cannot understand that there are no angles associated with Bermuda. (1)  It’s preposterous. (2)

It originated, of course, with the Communists. Blergity. Blerg. HA! See? I proved it. Yes, the Communists. Or waffles. I don’t know. And you know why I don’t know? Bagels.

… I can’t believe it. Yes. No. See! They’re taking over. (3)

So yes, now you know every single detail of the Bermuda Oval Conspiracy. Or do you?

… shoelace ends.

End the (4)

---

(1) and such
(2) Is that spelled right? (a)
  (a) is spelled a word? (#)
     (#)Can you have a footnote on a footnote?
(3) and such
(4) and such